About this Episode

Marriage: Sometimes You Need a Knot

Submissiveness, servant-hood, and forgiveness, what would our marriages look like if we applied these concepts instead of looking at marriage being "for me"? This week Pastor Paul Knight asks us through what biblical marriage looks like.

Main Scripture Reference(s): Ephesians 5:21-33, Matthew 19:6,

Ephesians 5:21-33 (NIV)

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Matthew 19:6 (NIV)

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

1) Tighten your commitment to Living a Christ-like Picture of Marriage.

Scriptures referenced: Ephesians 5:25, 29-33

Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Philippians 2:5-8 (NIV)

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

Six Reasons Why Marriage Matters?

1. For the connection of men and women.

(1 Corinthians 11:11 NLV; Genesis 2:18 NIV)

1. For the multiplication of the human race.

(Malachi 2:15 NLT)

1. For the protection of children.

(Proverbs 14:26 NASB)

1. For the perfection of our character.

(Proverbs 18:1 CEV)

1. For the construction of society.

(Proverbs 14:34 CEV)

1. For the reflection of our union with Christ.

(Ephesians 5:26-33 NCV)

2) Tighten your commitment to Living the Character of Christ in Marriage

Scriptures referenced: Ephesians 5:21, 2 Corinthians 5:15, Philippians 2:7, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Colossians 3:13

Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:15 (NIV)

And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

Philippians 2:7 (NIV)

...rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

• Submission
• Forgiveness

“Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.”

~Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage

3) **Tighten your Commitment to Living the Covenant of Marriage

Scriptures referenced: Ephesians 5:31, Ephesians 5:31, Genesis 2:24, 25, Matthew 19:4-6

Ephesians 5:31 (NIV)

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24, 25 (NIV)

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV)

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

A covenant is neither a cold contract nor merely an emotional pledge. It is giving your whole life to each other, not just physically but also legally, financially, emotionally, spiritually. The binding, legal commitment creates an unparalleled space for trust, vulnerability, and intimacy.

~Tim Keller, author The Meaning of Marriage

Support Discovering HOPE